-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- By Mark Schwarz
ESPN.com
She was provided with a personal trainer from age 7.
She was obsessed with being the best, always afraid someone was working
harder than she was. Her skills seemed to be exceeded only by her
maniacal work ethic.
Elena Delle Donne towered over the competition. The 6-foot-4 guard from
Wilmington, Del., could handle the ball as easily as the expectations.
She could shoot like Bird.
She
was on the fast track to greatness until her heart began steering her in
a different direction.
"About age 13, I thought, 'I don't know if I want to do this anymore,'"
Delle Donne says. "'It's not fun.'"
But fun was never the objective. Delle Donne was the consensus 2008
Naismith National High School Basketball Player of the Year. She saw
herself as the future of women's basketball. So did most everyone around
her. She was supposed to follow her idol, Diana Taurasi, to Connecticut,
win four national titles and become a superstar in the WNBA.
"I kinda was driving myself to be happy, and I was like, 'Well, you
better like this!'" Delle Donne says. "'Because this is what it's gonna
be.' And I was trying to force happiness upon myself, which I couldn't
find in the sport."
Delle Donne was a Connecticut Husky for all of 48 hours. She says it
took her only that long to realize she lacked the passion to play the
sport at the highest level. She says she could no longer pretend.
Connecticut coach Geno Auriemma doesn't pretend to understand why the
top recruit in America left his school in the middle of the night in
June.
"I don't know how you can play that much basketball and be that good at
it and say, 'I hate it since the time I was 13.' To me, those two things
don't go together … that you would be that good at something and not
enjoy any of it. It's hard for me to come to grips with," Auriemma says.
Elena Delle Donne, a McDonald's All-American, walked away from
basketball and decided instead to play volleyball at Delaware.
"I'm still not able to see how that makes any sense. I didn't understand
it and haven't understood it right from the beginning."
Auriemma is not pining for Delle Donne. His No. 1-ranked Huskies are
unbeaten and virtually unchallenged, winning their games by an average
of nearly 40 points. But he says he has never coached a player who left
his program because she lost her passion for the game.
"Nope," Auriemma says. "Not anybody that was any good -- let's put it
that way. Never experienced anything like that from somebody who is
really talented and successful.
"How could [you] get to be the best if you don't have some passion for
it?" he asks. "It would've come out a long time before. A lot of kids
probably don't like playing piano, but I don't know that you become the
best if you don't like it at all. At some point, you would screw it up
on purpose, wouldn't you?"
Delle Donne does not expect Auriemma to understand. She wasn't sure
anyone would. Perhaps
that's why it took her so long, about five years, to come clean.
Connecticut coach Geno Auriemma says fans might never know why Delle
Donne quit basketball.
"You can't understand it unless you're in my shoes," Delle Donne says.
"And that's the thing: You don't understand burnout unless you've been
burned out. And it's something you can't even explain. It's just doing
something you have absolutely no passion for."
When coaches would ask the teenage Delle Donne whether she was feeling
drained by a sport she played 12 months of the year, she would tell them
burnout was not in her vocabulary.
"It's hard to explain, and people are like, 'How are you doing this?'
Like, 'Look at your future, do you not see it?'" she says. "And I'm
like, 'I do see what I could have been.' And it's harder for me than it
is for anyone else because I see these God-given abilities that I've
been blessed with and I can't go forth with them."
When Auriemma released Delle Donne from her scholarship, she transferred
to the University of Delaware, 20 minutes from her home. She plays
volleyball in front of crowds of fewer than 500 fans instead of the
10,000 raucous rooters who fill the Huskies' Gampel Pavilion for women's
hoops games.
She no longer plays basketball. She recently was named to the Colonial
Athletic Association All-Rookie Team for her new sport.
"Now that I play volleyball, I know how it feels to have a passion for
your sport," she says. "Before, I just thought, 'Maybe everyone's faking
it because this is horrible.'"
Delle Donne says she was burned out on basketball years ago. She feels
passion for volleyball now.
Delle Donne, who turned 19 on Sept. 5, says she's too young to rule out
a return to basketball. Yet she says she has not picked up a ball in
months and has no interest in watching the game on television unless her
friends are playing.
"I'd rather be a face for happiness and doing things that you have a
passion for, rather than faking it and pretending like I'm this face of
women's basketball when I can't stand the sport at all," she says.
Auriemma says we might never know why Delle Donne pushed basketball
aside. Or why she chose to leave the stage at the moment an entire
nation finally would get to see her shine.
"I can't imagine Elena Delle Donne didn't love playing basketball," he
says. "I can imagine she may not have loved the stuff that came along
with it. That, 'I got to be Elena Delle Donne,' or, 'I've got to play at
a certain level.' Maybe that makes more sense than, 'I hated the game
since I was 13.'
There's something missing, he says like a detective still searching for
leads.
"There's something not quite out there yet," he says. "There's a lot of
things that don't fit together."
Mark Schwarz is a reporter in ESPN's Enterprise Unit. His work appears
on "Outside the Lines."